My high school reunion and Emmi Sue keeps getting weaker

I've had far too many things on my mind the last few days so I'll do my best to make some sense in this post.  The most important thing, of course, has been my Emmi Sue.  She is not doing well and I have been going out of my mind trying to keep her going.  After her vet appointment last Tuesday, I've been giving her subcutaneous fluids daily, which has been an experience in and of itself for both of us.  Her follow-up visit is scheduled for tomorrow morning for some blood work and I should learn the results by Thursday. I'm extremely concerned for my little girl as her weight continues to drop, even though one of the medications I give her is an appetite stimulant which doesn't seem to be helping too much.

I wish I could protect my Emmi Sue with such a force field!

A couple days ago, as Emmi Sue was laying in my arms, I had some music playing on my computer and the song "Love Me Tender" by Elvis Presley came on and I sang it to her as tears rolled down my face.  Every word I sang seemed to be written specifically for my little baby girl as I watched her tiny face and pretty eyes looking at me. 

Love Me Tender

Love me tender

Love me sweet

Never let me go.

You have made my life complete

And I love you so.

Love me tender, love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

And I always will.

Love me tender

Love me long

Take me to your heart

For it's there that I belong

And we'll never part.

Love me tender, love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

And I always will.

Love me tender

Love me dear

Tell me you are mine

I'll be yours through all the years

'Til the end of time.

Love me tender, love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

And I always will. 

I know I'll never be able to listen to this song again without thinking of my Emmi Sue for as long as I live.  I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the inevitable but it's the most impossible task I have ever had to face.  I can deal with this stupid MS a million times over but losing one of my babies is killing me to such an extent that I have no words to describe this deep sorrow I have inside my heart.

During all this heartache I've been feeling, my 25-year high school class reunion came around this past Saturday.  I had been looking forward to it all year until I lost my ability to drive and then with Emmi Sue being as sick as she is, I put it out of my mind.  Then on Friday, I received a text from a friend/classmate asking me if I was going.  I gave him the lame excuse that I had nothing to wear but he wouldn't accept this as a reason to not attend, so I decided to go after my parents offered to not only drive me to the event, but also grandkitty sit for me that evening.  I have to admit that I desperately needed a few hours away from the stress of being at home, even though it hurts to even type those words out.

My high school graduation picture (1987)

Going to my class reunion was wonderful, though extremely exhausting.  I'm sure my experience was completely different than that of most of my former classmates as the truth is, I didn't have any real "friends" in attendance.  I say that only because the people I had considered my closest friends did not go, but that was not really much of a surprise to me.  I was in one of the shiest groups in high school but at my 15-year reunion, I realized they hadn't changed over the years but I had.  Why were they still sitting in the corner?  No one was putting them there anymore, they were.  I'm not the same person, in fact, I'm ridiculously outgoing and honest and will not be stopped from being who I am for anybody!  And.. I love who I am!  Now, I consider pretty much everyone in Alleman High School's Class of 1987 my friends.  And why shouldn't I?  They are all people, just like me.  Sure, they all moved on with their lives in extremely different ways than I, and I am so happy that they have not suffered the same disability I have, but we are still united.  That's the one thing I love about having gone to a smaller school, even though it was a Catholic high school!  I had a class with everyone except TWO people in those four years.  We all knew every one in attendance and that's what made it so spectacular.

Having gone to Catholic school all my life, someone had the presence of mind to round up all of who survived St. Anne's grade school and junior high and we had a group photo and I loved that so much.  Being that I haven't asked anyone's permission, I am choosing not to name anyone, but that's me, second from the end on the right hand side in the pink top.  Ahh, the memories we shared from the 1st grade on up through the 12th grade!

I am still completely physically exhausted from the reunion but loved every minute of it.  I can't wait for the next one!  The number of people who showed up was astounding and shows how much we all wanted to catch up and share laughs, smiles and new experiences.

OK, but now it's time to get back to reality and my sweet little girl.  I only hope the vet and I can do more for her as my heart cannot take much more of this worrying.  I need Emmi Sue to get stronger.  For my darlin' I love you... and I always will.♥