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Sunday, April 28, 2013

❤ Finally, there's true love for me ❤

It took me a little over four months, but I have finally begun to heal from the loss of my Emmi Sue.  I moved the two pictures of her that I had sitting on my computer keyboard onto the entertainment center, which I feel was a very good start.  Since doing that, the tears have been less frequent and I am definitely moving on, yet Emmi Sue is still on my mind, yet in a less painful manner.
I love everything about this "meme," except for the god references.  Still, I love and miss my baby and felt it was perfectly appropriate.♥
The typical way my body reacts to stress, especially extreme stress, is for my body to go into a pretty severe MS exacerbation (flare-up) almost exactly three months after the stress occurred.  Miraculously, this hasn't happened this time around.  During Emmi Sue's illness, my MS left me alone and even allowed me to drive after seven months of not being able to do so.  As she became more ill, my MS left me alone so that I could take care of my little girl and I can't thank my disease enough for that.  Now, almost five months since I've held my beloved baby in my arms, the MS still hasn't attacked me any more deliberately than before she left me.  I fully expected a full force attack, but it has left me alone.  I never thought this would happen and I'm grateful for this "favor."  Jinger and Allie deserve their mommy at her best, even though it has taken me a few months to find myself again.
In my life, I have known many kinds of love, the greatest kind being between my kitty-daughters and me.  I am, in no way, belittling the strong relationship I have with both my parents, but nothing compares to the closeness, trust, unconditional love my girls feel towards me and me for them.  It's a bond that knows no end and never holds any anger nor disappointment.  It has always been love in its truest sense and one I could not live without, nor would I have survived the last decade if my girls were not in my life.

I have been in love beyond reason twice in my life.  The first time was at the age of 24 when I met Boris in Cochabamba, Bolivia, and the second was at age 35 when Magdy and I romanced for two and a half years over the internet.  I honestly don't know if he and I would have survived if we had met, since we were from such different cultures, but the love was absolutely there.
Now comes my confession.. I just lied about the amount of times I have been in love.  I am thrilled to announce that I recently met the man of my dreams via Atheist Mingle!  His name is Kevin, we're of the same age (I just turned 44 and he'll be this age in less than a month and a half), he also has two cats, twice divorced (as I am), no children (like me), atheist, and the list goes on and on.  I honestly felt I would live my life alone, which was fine with me as I was content with my single situation, yet now that I've met Kevin and started this amazing relationship, I can't imagine ever being without him again.

Kevin lives in Alabama and I'm in Illinois, so we are spending most of the time communicating via Skype, messaging on Facebook and phone calls.  That being said, we're "together" a good six or more hours daily, which is just phenomenal to me.  Even though we haven't known each other too long, Kevin has already taken days off next month to drive up to see me, so we are 26 days from being together for the very first time.  We are both crazy excited to see one another face-to-face and start our future already.  Ahhh, my life feels as if it's finally heading in the right direction and I don't have the words to describe how I'm feeling.  I just know that Kevin and I are deeply in love and are living for the moment we can melt into one another's arms. ♥