I'm very happy to report that Dorraine should be returning home from the hospital tomorrow. I spoke with her daughter earlier today (yes, technically, it was yesterday) and she informed me of this as I have chosen not to call Dorraine directly so as not to disturb her, in case she is sleeping. I was so relieved to hear this as I have been extremely concerned for my dear friend. Hopefully, now she will be on the road to a full recovery, or at least back to a semi-normal life once again.
Yesterday, my parents took me to the veterinarian's office so I could pick up a case of cat food for Emmi Sue. There were 24 cans of renal diet approved "wet" cat food waiting for me and all I could think was "I sure hope my baby will eat this!" To my absolute surprise, and delight, once I liquefied her food in the blender, Emmi Sue devoured it. The reason I needed to do this to the food is that when I serve any wet, chunky food as is, my girls tend to bypass chewing it enough and, well, they can't hold it down for more than a few minutes. Also, I need to do all I can to hydrate Emmi Sue in any way possible, so I add quite a bit of water to the food before blending it. Anyway, she gobbled it up as if she hadn't eaten in ages! I was thrilled that she liked the flavor as this will be the food I will use when I need to syringe feed her. Oh, and I was mistaken as to when that appointment is scheduled. That one isn't until next Tuesday, the day I will also have her blood work done.
Life for me has taken on a whole new "look," for lack of a better word, since my little girl became ill. If anyone ever doubted my sincerity when I call my kitties my children, I'm sure they can see how very serious I am now. They are my absolute priority, with only my parents coming before them. I do recognize my babies are cats and if my parents are in dire need of my assistance, they do take precedence.
My parents were at my house today and Mom watched as I gave Emmi Sue her subcutaneous fluids, and was amazed at how calm my baby was while I did this. I'm sure it's very uncomfortable and annoying to be stuck twice daily, but she's been so good about it. I hadn't expected my Emmi Sue to be so good about receiving this treatment, knowing how feisty and downright bitchy she can be! After the first two times, I thought it would be a battle each time but it has been anything but difficult. I love you, Emmi Sue. ♥
Some of my MS friends on Facebook have reminded me to make sure I take care of myself so my MS doesn't flare-up, especially with all the stress I have been under. It means so much to me that they are concerned about me but the truth is that I no longer feel too stressed (keeping my fingers crossed for it to remain this way) and things have fallen into a nice, easy routine. I will admit, however, that my hands have gotten terribly numb and my fingers are have lost so much feeling that the ones on my left hand feel extreme pain. I'm not sure if this is from stress or not, but I'm choosing not to worry about it. Also, today (yes, I men Tuesday) was the first day when I felt completely run-down pretty much the entire day. The moment Mom walked into my home, it only took a quick glance for her to know I didn't have enough energy to go to the store, as we had planned to do after dinner. I know it had a lot to with how poorly I have been eating lately as I haven't had the energy to prepare anything, even though most of the meals I have at home are quick, microwaveable meals. I just haven't had the energy nor the inspiration to eat much the last few weeks. I need to think of myself a bit more so I can take care of my girls, as they need me strong enough to handle all of this!
It seems my MS has been the last thing on my mind lately and it will probably remain this way for quite some time. When a loved one, or loved ones, are terribly ill their needs become the priority.
My dear friend, Dorraine, has been in the hospital for a few days and does not seem to be getting any better. I won't go into any details as I haven't cleared it with her to do so, but at least my parents were able to take me to spend time with her. I was with her almost the entire day and evening Saturday, and it pained me to see her so frail and fighting to breathe. I hope she will be better soon and I plan to spend a few hours with her again tomorrow.
As for my Emmi Sue, she had a follow-up appointment this past Tuesday, which my mom drove me to, and it was worse than the initial one when she was diagnosed with CKD (chronic kidney disease). The vet weighed Emmi Sue (she was down to 7 lbs.) and drew some blood to run a few tests, which she analyzed in the office rather than doing a full panel which would have taken a couple days. The results were heartbreaking as her numbers were through the roof. After I recovered enough to ask a few questions, the doctor told me that Emmi Sue has a few weeks or maybe up to a month to live. I lost it after hearing that. I could not stop crying. She did not even offer to make a follow-up appointment but instead suggested I bring Emmi Sue in anytime I wished to have her weighed, but since I wasn't thinking straight, I was fine with this. It wasn't until Wednesday evening, while I was in the shower crying, that I realized I needed to stop crying and start doing all I could to prolong my baby's life!
The moment I left dried myself off and put a robe on, I headed to my computer and started researching a few things and learned that CKD is not an immediate death sentence if I don't wish it to be. I am giving her all her medications and will take Emmi Sue in on Tuesday to learn to syringe feed her if/when she has a day/days when she refuses to eat. I will NOT allow my baby girl to let go just yet! Through my love and stubbornness, along with the fight I see in my little girl, I've seen Emmi Sue behaving more like her old self these last couple days. She is NOT ready to give up and neither am I. Even giving her subcutaneous fluids is no longer an ordeal as we have a bit of a routine and she allows me to stick her and administer the fluids without much difficulty. She's such a trouper! The only time I've cried over Emmi Sue in the last few days has been when she ate all of her food and when she started howling her horrible sounding meow, which is now ♫♪ music ♪♫ to my ears! My little girl is a fighter and honestly, so am I and we will get through this for as long as her tiny body will allow. She is not done living! ♥
Not only do we have this appointment so I can learn to syringe feed her, but I have another one scheduled a week from this Tuesday for Emmi Sue to have a full panel of lab work. I want to be on top of everything with her at all times. I am not ready to give up on my little girl and I am going to make sure our veterinarian understands this. Emmi Sue still has a lot of life left in her and I am much stronger than our vet has any idea. I will fight for my child until I have nothing left in me and believe me, I have a lot of fight left and so does Emmi Sue!
