Monday, October 1, 2012

Dorraine and Emmi Sue.. two ladies I love who are unwell

It seems my MS has been the last thing on my mind lately and it will probably remain this way for quite some time.  When a loved one, or loved ones, are terribly ill their needs become the priority.

My dear friend, Dorraine, has been in the hospital for a few days and does not seem to be getting any better.  I won't go into any details as I haven't cleared it with her to do so, but at least my parents were able to take me to spend time with her.  I was with her almost the entire day and evening Saturday, and it pained me to see her so frail and fighting to breathe.  I hope she will be better soon and I plan to spend a few hours with her again tomorrow.

As for my Emmi Sue, she had a follow-up appointment this past Tuesday, which my mom drove me to, and it was worse than the initial one when she was diagnosed with CKD (chronic kidney disease).  The vet weighed Emmi Sue (she was down to 7 lbs.) and drew some blood to run a few tests, which she analyzed in the office rather than doing a full panel which would have taken a couple days.  The results were heartbreaking as her numbers were through the roof.  After I recovered enough to ask a few questions, the doctor told me that Emmi Sue has a few weeks or maybe up to a month to live.  I lost it after hearing that.  I could not stop crying.  She did not even offer to make a follow-up appointment but instead suggested I bring Emmi Sue in anytime I wished to have her weighed, but since I wasn't thinking straight, I was fine with this.  It wasn't until Wednesday evening, while I was in the shower crying, that I realized I needed to stop crying and start doing all I could to prolong my baby's life!
The moment I left dried myself off and put a robe on, I headed to my computer and started researching a few things and learned that CKD is not an immediate death sentence if I don't wish it to be.  I am giving her all her medications and will take Emmi Sue in on Tuesday to learn to syringe feed her if/when she has a day/days when she refuses to eat.  I will NOT allow my baby girl to let go just yet!  Through my love and stubbornness, along with the fight I see in my little girl, I've seen Emmi Sue behaving more like her old self these last couple days.  She is NOT ready to give up and neither am I.  Even giving her subcutaneous fluids is no longer an ordeal as we have a bit of a routine and she allows me to stick her and administer the fluids without much difficulty.  She's such a trouper!  The only time I've cried over Emmi Sue in the last few days has been when she ate all of her food and when she started howling her horrible sounding meow, which is now ♫♪ music ♪♫ to my ears!  My little girl is a fighter and honestly, so am I and we will get through this for as long as her tiny body will allow.  She is not done living! ♥

Not only do we have this appointment so I can learn to syringe feed her, but I have another one scheduled a week from this Tuesday for Emmi Sue to have a full panel of lab work.  I want to be on top of everything with her at all times.  I am not ready to give up on my little girl and I am going to make sure our veterinarian understands this.  Emmi Sue still has a lot of life left in her and I am much stronger than our vet has any idea.  I will fight for my child until I have nothing left in me and believe me, I have a lot of fight left and so does Emmi Sue!

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