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Monday, May 7, 2012

Lack of energy.. what is causing it?

In my daily life, I find enjoyment in three basic things.  They are things I have come to depend on but lately, one of these enjoyments have been lacking and even though I shouldn't be terribly upset over this, I am.  I take much joy in my cats, smoking and food.  I no longer enjoy food and you would think this would be a good thing as I could stand to lose a significant amount of weight, but it is quite the opposite.
When I get up each day, I have one cup of coffee along with a serving of Greek style yogurt.  I started having this type of yogurt after my energy levels were extremely low half-way through the day and realized it could have a lot to do with what I was eating for breakfast, which had been either a small bagel or a serving of oatmeal.  Neither was a terrible breakfast, but I was left feeling drained of the little energy I have most days by 3 or 4pm (I usually get up around 11am and eat by noon).  Once I had this yogurt as my first meal the difference was incredible, largely due to the 12 to 13 grams of protein in a 5.3 to 6 ounce serving.

Even with this protein-packed yogurt for breakfast, my energy has been less than adequate and has left me wondering what else could be going on in my body.  I spoke to my psychiatrist about this today at my appointment and also mentioned the somewhat low blood pressure readings I have been getting on my monitor.  This evening, the reading I had was 100/57, which is definitely a bit lower than I would like.  The highest I have had since last Thursday has been 104/70, which makes me wonder if I am indeed hypertensive enough to be on Lisinopril, a medication used to treat hypertension.  I will mention this to my neurologist on Wednesday when I go in for my Tysabri infusion as I am not feeling quite myself lately and I really want to enjoy food again!

Actually, the lack of food enjoyment is probably a side effect of my anti-depressant and increased dosage of Topamax.  I don't mind feeling less hungry but this is getting ridiculous.  Nothing is appetizing anymore.  When I first mentioned this to my mom she thought it was wonderful to not want to eat, until I explained that I wasn't getting enough nourishment because of this lack of appetite.  She hadn't looked at the big picture and soon realized that there was more to it than simply not being hungry.

My weight has been an issue my entire life and it probably will be until the end.  I'm 5'6" (I used to be 5'7" but have already shrunk an inch!) and wish I weighed at least 80 lbs. less than I do, but I've come to terms with my weight and am happy I carry it as I do.  To look at me, you would not guess I weigh as much as I do and this, at least, is of some consolation.  This is also the reason why I don't find it necessary to share my exact weight since the number does not tell the story, although I am also not ashamed to admit to that number.  No, I take that back.  I am ashamed of the number but do not dwell on it obsessively as it does not represent who I am.
Even with my not-so-healthy-relationship with food, I would still like to enjoy it again and hope my neurologist will be able to give me some helpful tips or advice on this.  I may need to cut back on the Topamax dosage and I am more than willing to do this, as long as the headaches I was once plagued with do not return and eating becomes a bit of a pleasure again and not a chore.

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