Saturday, February 16, 2013

A few changes in my life ☺

It's definitely time to start writing again.  My last post was on..... January 21st?!!!  Ugh, I can't believe I've let so much time go by without writing a single word.
Mommy will always miss you, my sweet little girl! ♥
To start, I have hours, even days, when my mind is at peace since Emmi Sue's passing.  And then, wouldn't you know it, little Allie will walk by and do something that reminds me of her sister, and my emotions get the better of me once again.  Luckily, this is happening less and less frequently, yet still occurring far too often to say I'm dealing with her absence well.

About three months ago, some time in November, I joined a group on Facebook called Atheist Mingle, an obvious play on words of the xtian Mingle dating website.  Oh my goodness.. I love being a part of this Atheist Mingle room!  I have made some wonderful friends and we get new members on a daily basis.  When I first joined, there were barely 1,000 members, whereas now we have a little over 2,500 AND at least 16 couples in the five months of existence.  Not bad, huh?
I really have no expectations of meeting the man of my dreams in AM (I'll be abbreviating Atheist Mingle this way once I've written the full name out once on my post), or at least not in person.  I could be selling myself short in admitting this, but I prefer to live in some sort of reality than set my expectations too high.  I know my reality is bleak when my bank account shows less than $100 at any given time, I cannot travel because I have my girls (Jinger needs her daily medication and after how quickly I lost Emmi Sue, it's just not happening!), I have MS and I'm horribly overweight.  OK, maybe not horribly, but enough to make me feel a bit less than confident in my physical appearance at this moment.  It could have much to do in that I haven't gone out on a single date in about a year, but I'm not sure.  I haven't feel so unattractive in ages.

Oh, something I'm quite proud to mention tonight is that I smoked my last cigarette on Saturday, February 2nd, and have since taken up using electronic cigarettes (e-cigs) instead.  I found a brand which is disposable, rather than rechargeable, that tastes good enough and gives me enough nicotine to get by with just a few puffs each day.  I hope to eventually stop "needing" the nicotine, but I'm thrilled with how clear my lungs feel, my house no longer stinks, my skin looks better and my hair smells fantastic.  Best of all, and the main reason for quitting this habit, my girls no longer have to breathe in the crap I was putting into their air.  Hmm, I suppose having more money in the old bank account is a huge plus, too. :)

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