MS.. bladder and bowel issues

I hate having MS!  I had an appointment with my urologist today and it's almost entertaining when I can actually stump my own doctor, especially when he is a specialist.

For years now, I've had the most embarrassing problems to talk about.. bladder and bowel incontinence AND for other days on end, not being able to go at all (both bladder and bowel).  It's a horrible thing to endure and not something many can relate to since most with MS have one problem or the other, but rarely both.  Lucky me.. not!

My urologist prescribed a daily dose of Vesicare, which works in relaxing the bladder muscles to prevent urgent, frequent or uncontrolled urination, but it proved to be too much as it no longer allowed me to "go" at all, so he suggested I try taking it every other day, which helped immensely.  Then at the end of last year, my ankles began to swell and I was not able to go at all anymore, so I stopped taking Vesicare and called him immediately.  He then chose to prescribe 1 mg. Terazosin, which is usually used for men to treat enlarged prostate but since it also relaxes the muscles of the bladder and helps with bladder emptying, he felt it may help me, too.  Thank goodness he was right.  But of course, my MS wouldn't allow it to be the answer as it had to complicate my life once again.

How I feel some days!

After taking Terazosin for a couple months, I began having my old problem of not making it to the bathroom in time, so I stopped taking it and started on the Vesicare again.  Wouldn't you know it?  Now I couldn't go at all!  I was ready to tear my hair out but instead decided to try taking Terazosin in the evening, as was prescribed, and Vesicare every other day, and voila!  I was back to peeing like a normal person.  I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do but chose to continue on this path until I saw my urologist today, and even though he had never heard of anyone needing to do what I was doing, he was in agreement that it seemed like the answer to my bladder issues.  So I take one med to relax my bladder muscles and then another to stop them from being too active.  Yup, that about covers it!  I have MS because I'm a mess (a mess sounds like MS and it makes me giggle)!

As for the bowel issues, all I can say is UGH!  I've learned that taking the generic form of Colace (2 capsules daily) is the answer for me.  Without it, I would never go and even taking it, emptying isn't guaranteed.  I think people assume I'm constipated, which isn't my issue.  My brain can't "remember" where the muscles are located, so how can I go when I can't figure out how to push?  It's so damn frustrating and demeaning but this is what MS is and what it does and it's horrible beyond words.  So when anyone tells me that I look great and how wonderful it is that my MS hasn't affected me as much as it has others, I wish I could tell them to look inside my ASS and re-think that thought!  My problems are definitely more internal and although I am very grateful that I can walk and still drive most of the time, the things I deal with are not easy.

It's important to mention that I have had times when I haven't made it to the bathroom with both bowel and bladder incontinence.  It's beyond embarrassing and it always feels as if I lose a piece of myself when it happens.  I remember one Christmas evening I had been at my parents' house, where a group of friends were gathered, and I had driven home to feed my cats. As I was pulling into my driveway, my bowels chose to release.  I was completely soiled and humiliated and after taking a shower, called my mom and explained, through tears, that I wouldn't be able to return to their house that night.  The following day my wonderful dad came to my house, put a towel on the seat, sat down and drove my car to their house and used their wet-dry vacuum so my car would be clean again.  I was so ashamed but both my parents assured me that it was alright and they didn't mind helping me out, especially my dad in this instance.  I just wish I could say this was the last time something like that happened to me, but it would not be true.  Bowel and bladder incontinence happens to me a few times each year, although not usually in my car!  I'm thankful for the little things in life.. such as not soiling myself in my vehicle too often. :)