Wednesday, April 11, 2012

MS.. friends can make all the difference

There's nothing in the world I would like more than to be able to get my body to rest.  My mind is tired yet the spasms are very active and not allowing me to relax enough to get some much needed sleep, so I felt it would be a fine idea to sit and write while I allow my medications to kick in.  I usually take half of one Baclofen tablet (equaling 10 mg.), but decided to take the entire dosage a couple weeks ago, and I have also added 100 mg. Neurontin to my nightly medications.  To tell the truth, I was in such agony earlier today that I took one of my Neurontin capsules at dinnertime but didn't feel any difference.  I still cannot believe the intense pain in my body and am left wondering if it is all due to the MS or if something else is happening.  Could it be arthritis?  I desperately need to speak with my neurologist tomorrow and see what can be done.  I'm not sure I can take this horrible discomfort for too much longer.

Ugh, I hate that I've been sounding so whiny and complaining quite a bit lately but I'm sure no one thinks I'm exaggerating, right?  If there's one thing I am not, it would be a hypochondriac.  I'm really quite the opposite as I prefer to not share my pain too much but there are times when it's horribly overwhelming and it overshadows my every move and thought.  Yet even through this pain, today was almost a decent day before it turned into pain.

You see, Dorraine was here and she helped me, despite feeling extremely tired.  I offered to make a fresh pot of coffee to maybe give her more energy, which she, of course, accepted.  It was a quiet, peaceful afternoon with Dorraine until I tried to sign my name on the paper she turns in to work each week to verify her hours, as I do each time she is here.  My right hand would not work for anything.  I was able to barely sign "Lucy" when I looked up at her and said I couldn't write anymore, so she gently said it was alright for me to wait until next time to sign my name for today and the following visit.  I no longer allow it to bother me when my hand doesn't work, yet it was slightly upsetting.. but life goes on.
But while Dorraine was with me, I started chatting with a new friend on Facebook and he was able to put a smile on face for a few hours.  I don't think I've smiled quite that much in ever so long and it felt wonderful.  As silly as it may sound, I felt alive!  So I dedicate the cute doggie picture and quote to Dorraine and my new friend (whose name I will not post until he says it's alright to do so).  You made a difficult day much more tolerable for me.. thank you from the bottom of my heart!

I believe my medications have finally begun to work enough to allow me to sleep at least a little bit so I will try to lay down.  I'm not sure if I will write again later today or not but I thank you all for following me on this journey.

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